We have always loved stories of people who overcame adversity, like in the movie Rocky. We like stories of people who raised themselves from failure to success, like the old Horatio Alger story. We like to watch people rise from obscurity to fame on Star Search, American Idol or like Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent.
We love to see regular people, like ourselves, succeed. Well, here is a story that should be inspiring to a huge number of people who have issues that are more internal and less obvious. A guy who is broke or in jail, or a lady who shoplifts have their issues more out in the open. . But as Henry David Thoreau said, Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. The voices, the torment, the depression, the anxiety, the doubts, the self condemnation and self loathing, the loneliness, and the lovelessness are very real to the person who has them, but are not out there for everyone to see. It's more of a private and internal struggle.
If a person were to overcome some or all of these, as in fact, quite a few have, it would be a major victory and a success story to celebrate. Mike did, and here is his story. Mike is very opinionated. But he has a right to his opinions. He salt and peppers his story with social commentary, but isn't that what writers have always done? Thanks for your courage, Mike.
* * * * *
Hello, everyone. My name is Mike and I would like to talk about childhood trauma.
First I want to say that I was fortunate. I had my traumas and my issues, but people left me alone and I did not compound the traumas. Quite a few people are traumatized as a child and then have trauma added to trauma: they are put in some terrible foster care environment, or they are subjected to what Dr. Peter Breggin calls "brain disabling treatments," such as psychotropic meds, ECT or lobotomy. Trauma is added to trauma.
Perhaps they are incarcerated and put in a setting where they are violated again. They may escape from a rotten home to a gang, where they are violated. They might seek escape from an abusive home and seek love in a marriage or relationship where they are again abused.
A young person may seek to earn a living and get away from an unhappy home by joining the military, only to see and experience awful things in some strange place thousands of miles away.
Traumatized and shocked, he or she may be given polypharmacy, and by overdoses or interaction undergo yet further shock.
In short, other human beings keep doing things to them which in the guise of helping them only adds layer upon layer of trauma.
And I must also mention that a person may join a religious or spiritual group for help only to be taken advantage of and used; or perhaps worse yet, find out that it is full of hypocrisy and falsity instead of real love and truth. This leads to the devastation of doubt and cynicism and resentment. More trauma of the deepest and most spiritual variety.
Some of you will say that such a person just had bad luck. But if he or she had been surrounded by loving, kind and understanding people, the bad things would not have happened.
Like I said, I was fortunate to be left alone. I found some good work, went to college, and found plenty of time to read, do sports, have friends, and do lots of reading. I explored the bookstores of San Francisco, experienced life, and outgrew my childhood issues.
When I needed help (such as when I needed to have my tonsils taken out when I was in my twenties), I found a kind and skilled doctor and a great hospital staff. Nothing bad happened.
I got through with the help of a few good teachers, a couple of great bosses, two good doctors, and lots and lots of good books. And yes, my parents were decent.
But my unloved mother (God bless her soul) did lay some trips on me and did a lot of damage. My dad had some issues, but he was a nice man. It's too bad that his issues sort of overwhelmed him, so he couldn't be all the dad he wanted to be.
My step dad was a very decent man, and his presence was a very stabilizing force in the home.
So I had my traumas, and they were bad enough--but rather typical. It is becoming clear to me that most of us are walking wounded. Some of us had rotten parents, but many of us had parents who did the best they could. They provided for us and taught us things. They honestly did what they could for us, but unbeknownst to us at the time (when we were kids) they were struggling with their own demons.
The doubts and fears, the voices, the torments, the anxiety, the emptiness, the self loathing and all the other things that many of us have dealt with, they did too. Something in them wanted us to react, become upset and hate them. Something in them compelled them to be cruel.
Something in them wouldn't let them be kind and light hearted. It compelled them to do to us what was done to them. When they (our parents) were little kids, someone laid a trip on them. Someone was neglectful, cruel or abusive to them. And when your parents became parents, the thing in them then compelled them to pass on the legacy of trauma.
This is something that nobody talks about. But it precisely what Paul was referring to when he said that the good that he wanted to do he did not do, and the wrong that he did not want to do, he found himself doing. So he had to come to the conclusion that it was the sin that had made a home in him, not himself, that was doing the wrong.
When we sin, the spirit of that sin enters into us. Its will becomes our will. We think its will is our will, and we think its thoughts are our thoughts. So we are misled and we struggle with will, only to make it stronger.
And from its new home in us, it talks to us, seducing or driving us to do the very thing we hate, and to become like the people we hated.
Now do you see how sin enters. It is when we step across an invisible metaphysical line, to do wrong or to agree with some temptation. When we were little children, we did not want to become upset and resentful. But the sin nature in others, especially our unloved and abused parents, drove them to neglect or terrorize us until we resented and hated them.
And it was the sin of hate that let the bad spirit in.
Now you see how you have been cruel or thoughtless but did not mean to or want to. You were not being deliberately cruel. You could not help yourself. Now that you see this, you will be able to see that your parents could not help themselves any more than you can. They too were victims. They too were driven by forces that they could not control.
Seeing this, you can now forgive them. In other words, drop your resentment against them.
They did not hurt you on purpose. Then did not know what they were doing. Or they knew what they were doing, but were compelled to do so.
Therefore forgive.
And when you drop your hatred and resentment toward them, your spiritual recovery will begin. You will no longer be full of hate or resentment toward them or anyone, including yourself.
The bad spirit will have no power over you, and it is only a matter of time until it leaves.
And when you forgive others, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. Matthew 6:14, 15 (NASB) Then said Jesus, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. " Luke 23:24 (KJV)
Mike's Story “How I overcame depression,
bipolar, OCD, anxiety and other
issues without drugs”
is now available in eBook to download to your computer, read online, or download to your mobile device right now!
Mike’s Story “How I overcame depression,
bipolar, OCD, anxiety and other
issues without drugs.” is the powerful personal testimony of someone
who overcame mental health and other issues and went on to
enjoy a successful, productive life.
Mike tells you about his childhood:
the traumas,
the obsessions
and compulsions,
his shyness and bipolar.
Mike tells you about his twenties: the
depression, the doubts and the fears.
You will hear him talk about how Zorro and Colombo helped him get through.
You’ll find out what the Zen Master said.
You’ll read about Mike’s close call with Dr. Rough Handling.
Mike loves to philosophize about life, love,
and he likes Frank Sinatra too.
For each stage of his life he reveals how he moved on and left the issues behind.
Mike saves the best for last:
How he found his
spiritual roots with the help of meditation,
a change of heart,
and a hug and a kick in the pants from God.
Preview now
Roland Trujillo, pastor, mentor and spiritual
director, is the author of 12 books. His popular self
help radio program has aired on both secular and
Christian radio stations around the country for 22
years.
“I love helping people improve their
relationships, overcome personal issues and find
their spiritual roots. People get stuck, and they need
someone who thinks outside the box to help
them look at life with fresh eyes.
People are resilient and can make progress in a very short amount of time.
Sometimes all it takes is an insight or two,
a little meditation to get centered, and knowing that there is someone
who has love, and who both understands
and can help. That’s all.
Read excerpts from Chapter One
Here is an letter written by someone who gets it. He overcame anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. In this letter, he comments on the verse from the Psalms and then tells of his recovery journey. He gave me permission to share his letter but asked that I only use his first name, Michael. I hope someone will be inspired to give our free spiritual
meditation a try. All I can say is "Thanks, Mike." Roland
Hello, my name is Michael.
I love this verse from the Psalms.
He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.
Psalm 112:7 (English Standard Version).
It sounds good, doesn't it? But the question is: how do you get to where you have such a firm heart and settled spirit?
It took me a long time to get to where I could understand and say something about having a firm heart and settled spirit. I was Mr. Jellyfish.
But here’s the good news: if I can do it, anyone can do it. It took me 40 years, but that was because it took 40 years for me to get to the point where I was ready. Once you’re ready, recovery can begin in a heartbeat.
And it doesn’t have to take 40 years to be ready. You can be ready in this instant regardless of your age, if your heart is pure and you are sincere.
Here's my story. Let's begin with a few thoughts about anxiety and some observations about life and how I started to recover. . . . .
When you are in a tight golf match and it's the 18th hole and you have to make a knee knocking three foot putt, what do you do? You suck it up, get a bucket full of guts, and even though your knees are knocking, you attempt the putt.
Let's say you're a plumber and a client has a major break in a pipe under their house that has to be dealt with now. Do you become upset or angry and call a time out and make the client go to his room because you can't cope? No, you deal with the situation, even though you don't feel like
it. . . . . .
Here is an letter written by someone who gets it. He overcame anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. In this letter, he comments on the verse from the Psalms and then tells of his recovery journey. He gave me permission to share his letter but asked that I only use his first name, Michael. I hope someone will be inspired to give our free spiritual
meditation a try. All I can say is "Thanks, Mike." RolandHello, my name is Michael.
I love this verse from the Psalms.
He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.
Psalm 112:7 (English Standard Version).
It sounds good, doesn't it? But the question is: how do you get to where you have such a firm heart and settled spirit?
It took me a long time to get to where I could understand and say something about having a firm heart and settled spirit. I was Mr. Jellyfish.
But here’s the good news: if I can do it, anyone can do it. It took me 40 years, but that was because it took 40 years for me to get to the point where I was ready. Once you’re ready, recovery can begin in a heartbeat.
And it doesn’t have to take 40 years to be ready. You can be ready in this instant regardless of your age, if your heart is pure and you are sincere.
Here's my story. Let's begin with a few thoughts about anxiety and some observations about life and how I started to recover. . . . .
When you are in a tight golf match and it's the 18th hole and you have to make a knee knocking three foot putt, what do you do? You suck it up, get a bucket full of guts, and even though your knees are knocking, you attempt the putt.
Let's say you're a plumber and a client has a major break in a pipe under their house that has to be dealt with now. Do you become upset or angry and call a time out and make the client go to his room because you can't cope? No, you deal with the situation, even though you don't feel like
it. . . . . .I have discovered that the secret to life is in overlooking.
You have anxiety, but overlook it. In other words, instead of struggling with, suppressing or trying to get rid of the anxiety, you overlook it.
Someone makes a mistake, but you overlook it (instead of judging or resenting them). You have doubts, but you overlook them (instead of dwelling on them).
You feel anger (at your child, for example), but you overlook it (and remain calm).
There are many good things I could say about overlooking. How it helps us overcome anxiety, doubts, fears, negative emotion; and how it helps us be more patient with others. But for now, I will mention it in passing. Later I will talk about the meditation (that Roland offers) and how it helps you learn to overlook. . . . . .
Instead of living and teaching the value of doing what is right and overlooking anxiety or negative emotion, they first seek to get rid of the anxiety or negative emotion. This is putting the cart before the horse.
We triumph as humans when we overcome anxiety or negative emotions through doing what is right and being virtuous.
In other words, a true human gives the food to their child even though they themselves are hungry. A true human does the right thing despite fear. He tells the truth, though he is made to feel uncomfortable. She acts calmly for the sake of others, despite anxiety. He says no to temptation despite having feelings of lust or greed. . . .
There are many good things I could say about overlooking. How it helps us overcome anxiety, doubts, fears, negative emotion; and how it helps us be more patient with others. But for now, I will mention it in passing. Later I will talk about the meditation (that Roland offers) and how it helps you learn to overlook. . . . . .
Instead of living and teaching the value of doing what is right and overlooking anxiety or negative emotion, they first seek to get rid of the anxiety or negative emotion. This is putting the cart before the horse.
We triumph as humans when we overcome anxiety or negative emotions through doing what is right and being virtuous.
In other words, a true human gives the food to their child even though they themselves are hungry. A true human does the right thing despite fear. He tells the truth, though he is made to feel uncomfortable. She acts calmly for the sake of others, despite anxiety. He says no to temptation despite having feelings of lust or greed. . . .
Remember it took 80 years for Moses to be made ready to lead his people out of Egypt.
So you might as well be prepared for a long period of just being a regular person. But you can start to get ready for the touch of God which may come someday by living with some dignity, some honor, some self control, some discipline where you are right now.
And by exercising virtue, it will grow, and you will increase in composure and self control. No, you won't walk on water--but by exercising virtue, you'll begin to face things with at least a modicum of natural poise, and it will grow.
Therefore do not mind it if you encounter some difficulty. Do not become resentful if you have some ups and downs, some rain on your parade, a boyfriend or girlfriend who quits you, a job you don't get, a day when you don't feel particularly good or some anxiety if you have to give a speech. . . .
And while you are at it, expect betrayal, people saying mean things about you for no reason, and so on. That way you won't be shocked and upset when it happens.
So you'll have to start now where you are at. And it doesn't matter where that is.
So start to face some things today. And like I said, don't expect to get it just right from the start. Take it easy. Rome wasn't built in a day. Don't look for perfection. Look for progress. And here's a word of caution: start with the small stuff. . . .
Remember how I said that we have been made self conscious in many ways? Okay. So don't hate yourself if you meet a moment badly. In my life, I've messed up, made a fool of myself, cut and run, let my team down, copped out, and many other small but shameful failings. I failed and then reacted badly to what I was forced to see about myself.
But as time went by (as years went by) I learned to fail less. And I also learned to react badly less to my failings. In other words, I began to grow up, and I'm still growing up.
When I was 10, 15, 20, 30 years old, did I have anxiety? Of course. Did I get depressed? Of course.
When my parents got divorced, it bothered me. When my dad died, it made me sad. When my parakeet died, I felt bad. What was I supposed to do, be happy about these things? I grieved and felt hurt and then I got over it.
When I was a little kid, did I go through a spell where I had to do a ritual of counting numbers or arrange my shoes perfectly at night or else "something really bad would happen?" Of course. Then I grew out of it.
When I was in college, was I high and hyper when something good happened and stayed up till dawn talking to my friends? Then did I crash when a bunch of things went wrong? Naturally.
When I was in my 20's did I wonder who I was and if there was a future for me? Did I mess up, and make mistakes? Sure.
And then did something try to tell me I was "worthless" and that "the world would be better off without me?" Of course.
When I was 30 and sitting in a lonely apartment in the outskirts of Chicago, with the snow coming down and nowhere to go and wishing I were back in California, did I feel depressed? Of course.
But here I am. I got through.
My recovery was two part. First it was just growing out of issues. It seems like each stage of our life--little kid, big kid, teenager, college age, 20's, 30's--there are some typical issues to deal with. The old expression "time heals all wounds" definitely applies. Somehow I just grew out of things.
Like when I was a kid, teen, and in my 20's I was painfully shy. But then when I was in my 30's I was teaching college classes, and now I feel comfortable around everyone and talk about anything. And it's fun.
So you might as well be prepared for a long period of just being a regular person. But you can start to get ready for the touch of God which may come someday by living with some dignity, some honor, some self control, some discipline where you are right now.
And by exercising virtue, it will grow, and you will increase in composure and self control. No, you won't walk on water--but by exercising virtue, you'll begin to face things with at least a modicum of natural poise, and it will grow.
Therefore do not mind it if you encounter some difficulty. Do not become resentful if you have some ups and downs, some rain on your parade, a boyfriend or girlfriend who quits you, a job you don't get, a day when you don't feel particularly good or some anxiety if you have to give a speech. . . .
And while you are at it, expect betrayal, people saying mean things about you for no reason, and so on. That way you won't be shocked and upset when it happens.
So you'll have to start now where you are at. And it doesn't matter where that is.
So start to face some things today. And like I said, don't expect to get it just right from the start. Take it easy. Rome wasn't built in a day. Don't look for perfection. Look for progress. And here's a word of caution: start with the small stuff. . . .
Remember how I said that we have been made self conscious in many ways? Okay. So don't hate yourself if you meet a moment badly. In my life, I've messed up, made a fool of myself, cut and run, let my team down, copped out, and many other small but shameful failings. I failed and then reacted badly to what I was forced to see about myself.
But as time went by (as years went by) I learned to fail less. And I also learned to react badly less to my failings. In other words, I began to grow up, and I'm still growing up.
When I was 10, 15, 20, 30 years old, did I have anxiety? Of course. Did I get depressed? Of course.
When my parents got divorced, it bothered me. When my dad died, it made me sad. When my parakeet died, I felt bad. What was I supposed to do, be happy about these things? I grieved and felt hurt and then I got over it.
When I was a little kid, did I go through a spell where I had to do a ritual of counting numbers or arrange my shoes perfectly at night or else "something really bad would happen?" Of course. Then I grew out of it.
When I was in college, was I high and hyper when something good happened and stayed up till dawn talking to my friends? Then did I crash when a bunch of things went wrong? Naturally.
When I was in my 20's did I wonder who I was and if there was a future for me? Did I mess up, and make mistakes? Sure.
And then did something try to tell me I was "worthless" and that "the world would be better off without me?" Of course.
When I was 30 and sitting in a lonely apartment in the outskirts of Chicago, with the snow coming down and nowhere to go and wishing I were back in California, did I feel depressed? Of course.
But here I am. I got through.
My recovery was two part. First it was just growing out of issues. It seems like each stage of our life--little kid, big kid, teenager, college age, 20's, 30's--there are some typical issues to deal with. The old expression "time heals all wounds" definitely applies. Somehow I just grew out of things.
Like when I was a kid, teen, and in my 20's I was painfully shy. But then when I was in my 30's I was teaching college classes, and now I feel comfortable around everyone and talk about anything. And it's fun.
Okay, so it took a few years to get over it. But I did get over it.
So we grow, we mature, we leave behind the things of childhood--including issues. We move on. It's a long process and it's life.
t's a relief to find out that lots of people have the same issues, and lots of people get better.
I'm extending my hand in friendship to talk about some of the things I have been blessed to learn along the way in my spiritual walk.
Your friend, Mike
Pastor Roland's comments
Thanks, Mike
Your letter is inspirational.
.
I believe that it is hard to be a good person or a good Christian and express truth and love when you are resentful, upset, angry, and lost in the imagination. We are much better off dealing with our loved ones and life's situations with patience and reason instead of upset.
That is why I enjoy helping people calm down first. After finding the secret to self control, they will then be able to express love, reason and patience..
.
Now if you will, check out the simple meditation (it is free) that helps you become aware instead of lost in your thinking and emotions.
Read about how Mike had all the symptoms of ADHD and what, thank God, his parents did and did not do.
Mike tells about his depression around age 30, and how listening to the radio helped him overcome it.
Mike talks about meditation and how it has helped him.
Find out how Mike is doing now.
And much more.
____________________________
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Read about how Mike had all the symptoms of ADHD and what, thank God, his parents did and did not do.
Mike tells about his depression around age 30, and how listening to the radio helped him overcome it.
Mike talks about meditation and how it has helped him.
Find out how Mike is doing now.
And much more.
____________________________
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